Sunday Live Service 16 August 2020 – Recover Woman’s Power From Within – Part 2
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Recover Woman’s Power From Within – Part 2
Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy–meditate on these things.
DON’T FOCUS ON THINGS YOU CAN’T CONTROL
You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can
decide not to be reduced by them
# KEEPING EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL
- You spend a lot of time and energy trying to prevent anything bad from happening.
- You invest energy into wishing other people would change.
- When faced with a tough situation, you think you can single-handedly fix everything.
- You believe the outcome of any situation is entirely based on how much effort you choose to exert.
- You assume that good luck has nothing to do with success. Instead, it’s completely up to you to determine your future.
- Other people sometimes accuse you of being a “control freak.”
- You don’t feel comfortable asking for help.
- You struggle to delegate tasks to other people because you don’t think they’ll do the job right.
- Even when you recognize you aren’t able to completely control a situation, you struggle to let it go.
- If you fail at something, you believe you are solely responsible.
- You think people who don’t reach their goals are completely responsible for their situation.
- You struggle with teamwork because you doubt the abilities of other people on the team.
- You have difficulty establishing meaningful relationships because you don’t trust people
DEVELOP A BALANCED SENSE OF CONTROL
- You can host a good party, but you can’t control whether people have fun.
- You can give your child tools to be successful, but you can’t make your child be a good student
- You can do your best at your job, but you can’t force your boss to recognize your work.
- You can sell a great product, but you can’t dictate who buys it.
- You may be the smartest person in the room, but you can’t control whether people choose to follow your advice.
- You can nag, beg, and make threats, but you can’t force your spouse to behave differently.
- You can have the most positive attitude in the world, but it can’t make a terminal diagnosis disappear.
- You can control how much you take care of yourself, but you can’t always prevent illness.
- You can control what you’re doing, but you can’t control your competitor.
- Delegating tasks and responsibilities to other people
- Asking for help when you need it
- Focusing on solving problems that are within your control
- Keeping the emphasis on influencing others rather than controlling them
- Thinking balanced thoughts about what is within your control and what isn’t
- Not relying on yourself for the entire outcome
WHAT’S NOT HELPFUL
- Insisting on doing everything because no one else can do it right
- Choosing to do everything on your own because you think you should be able to accomplish things without help
- Spending time trying to figure out how to change things that are likely beyond your direct control
- Trying to force other people to do what you think they should do, regardless of how they feel
- Only thinking about what you can do to make things turn out the way you want
- Taking full responsibility for the end result without acknowledging other factors that influence the outcome
DON’T WORRY ABOUT PLEASING EVERYONE
Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.
- You tend to say yes when people ask you for favors, even if you really don’t want to do something.
- You change your behavior based on what you think other people want.
- You put a lot of energy into trying to impress people.
- If you hosted a party and people didn’t seem to be enjoying themselves, you’d feel responsible.
- You seek praise and approval from people in your life often.
- When someone around you is upset, you take responsibility for trying to make him or her feel better.
- You would never want anyone to think you are selfish.
- You often feel overscheduled and overburdened by all the things you have to do.
- You feel responsible for how other people feel.
- The thought of anyone being mad at you causes you to feel uncomfortable.
- You tend to be a “pushover.”
- You find it easier to agree with people rather than express a contrary opinion.
- You often apologize even when you don’t think you did anything wrong.
- You go to great lengths to avoid conflict.
- You don’t usually tell people when you’re feeling offended or your feelings are hurt.
- Identifying your values and behaving according to them
- Being aware of your emotions before deciding whether to say yes to someone’s request
- Saying no when you don’t want to do something
- Practicing tolerating uncomfortable emotionsmassociated with conflict and confrontation
- Behaving assertively even when speaking up may not be well received
WHAT’S NOT HELPFUL
- Losing sight of who you are and what your values are
- Only considering someone else’s feelings without thinking about your emotions
- Automatically accepting an invitation without considering whether it’s a good choice
- Agreeing with people and complying with requests to avoid confrontation
- Going along with the crowd or refusing to express any opinions that may go against what the majority of people think
DON’T FEAR TAKING CALCULATED RISKS
Don’t be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.
- You sometimes allow other people to make decisions for you so you don’t have to make them.
- You avoid risks in at least some areas of your life— social, financial, or physical—because you’re afraid.
- You base decisions on your level of fear. If you’re a little afraid, you might do something. But, if you feel really
afraid, you decide taking the risk is unwise.
- You think that outcomes are largely dependent on luck.
- You struggle to make important decisions in your life.
- You spend a lot of time daydreaming about what you’d like to do, but you don’t take any action.
- Sometimes you impulsively make a decision because thinking about the decision is just too anxiety provoking.
- You often think you could be doing a lot more adventurous and exciting things in life, but your fear holds you back.
- When you think about taking a risk, you usually only imagine
the worst-case scenario and choose not to take the chance.
- Being aware of emotional reactions to risk taking
- Identifying types of risks that are particularly challenging
- Recognizing irrational thoughts that influence your decision making
- Educating yourself about the facts
- Spending time calculating each risk before making a decision
- Practicing taking risks and monitoring the results so you can learn from each risk you takes
WHAT’S NOT HELPFUL
- Basing your decisions about risk on how you feel
- Avoiding the types of risk that stir up the most fear
- Allowing irrational thoughts to influence your willingness to try something new
- Ignoring the facts or not making an effort to learn more when you lack the information you need to make the best choice
- Reacting impulsively without taking time to weigh the risk
- Refusing to take risks that cause you discomfort
DON’T DWELL ON THE PAST
We do not heal the past by dwelling there; we heal the past by living fully in the present.
STUCK IN HISTORY
- You sometimes imagine saying or doing something differently in past memories to try and create a different outcome.
- You punish yourself or convince yourself you don’t deserve to be happy.
- You feel ashamed of your past.
- When you make a mistake or experience an embarrassing episode, you keep repeatedly replaying the event in your mind.
- You invest a lot of time in thinking about all the things you “should have” or “could have” done differently.
- You wish you could press the rewind button so you could redo portions of your life.
- You struggle with major regrets about your past.
- You spend a lot of time wondering how life would have turned out if only you had chosen a slightly different path.
- You sometimes feel like the best days of your life are already behind you.
- You replay past memories in your mind like a scene from a
movie over and over again.
- Reflecting on the past enough that you can learn from it
- Moving forward in your life, even when it may be painful to do so
- Actively working through grief so you can focus on the present and plan for the future
- Thinking about negative events in terms of facts, not emotions
- Finding ways to make peace with the past
WHAT’S NOT HELPFUL
- Trying to pretend the past didn’t happen
- Trying to prevent yourself from moving forward in life
- Focusing on what you’ve lost in life without being able to live in the present
- Replaying painful events in your mind repeatedly and focusing on how you felt during them
- Trying to undo the past or make up for your past mistakes
DON’T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES OVER AND OVER
The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.
- You sometimes say things like “I’ll never do that again,” only to find yourself doing the same thing all over again.
- Sometimes it just feels like it takes too much effort to learn new ways to do things.
- You often feel frustrated by your lack of self-discipline.
- Your motivation to do things differently disappears as soon as you begin to feel uncomfortable or upset.
- You often find yourself stuck at the same point when you’re trying to reach a goal.
- When you encounter an obstacle, you don’t invest much time looking for new ways to overcome it.
- You find it hard to give up your bad habits because you keep falling back on your old ways.
- You don’t invest much time in analyzing why your attempts to reach your goals are unsuccessful.
- You get mad at yourself because you can’t get rid of some of your bad
- Acknowledging your personal responsibility for each mistake
- Creating a written plan to prevent repeating the mistake
- Identifying triggers and warning signs of old behavior patterns
- Practicing self-discipline strategies
WHAT’S NOT HELPFUL
- Making excuses or refusing to examine your role in the outcome
- Responding impulsively without thinking about alternatives
- Putting yourself in situations where you are likely to fail
- Assuming you can always resist temptation or deciding you’re doomed to keep repeating your mistakes